Do you sometimes feel inferior to others?

I find that one of the main reasons people feel inferior and lack self-confidence is that they see around them a completely different world to the real one. They see the world as a place where everyone else is superior to them. They make the assumption that other people have more authority than them and that others' rights prevail above theirs.

It may well be the case that some people are more 'senior' to you in terms of position or rank. However, this does not mean that they are 'superior' to you in the sense that their rights and needs are more important.

Confident people don't think like this - they treat everyone the same, regardless of rank or seniority. Of course, they show the appropriate degree of respect to seniors but they don't change their behaviour. People who feel inferior tend to lose sight of this. They forget that senior people have no 'rights' over you, even though, particularly in a work environment, they may have a degree of 'power' over you in terms of your role and responsibilities.

So, try to remember that you are on a par with everyone else. Be professional and polite and try to treat everyone the same. Approach a senior person with the confidence you would approach a peer.

I wouldn't be surprised if you're thinking that's easier said than done - After all, it's natural to feel a little daunted by the prospect of treating people who are senior to you as equals. It's actually not that difficult - but it does require mental preparation. 

The following exercise should help -

Try to think forward to the next time you might find yourself working or socialising with a group of people, some of whom are senior in some respect to you. Prepare yourself to treat them differently to the way you might normally; whereas you used to treat them according to your perception of their authority in relation to you, now you will treat each of them as an equal. You will do this for everyone, even the people who are more 'senior' to you in terms of position. Don't worry; this won't be a problem as long as you're polite and respectful at all times.

You'll need to prepare before it happens though. Spend a few minutes on your own thinking about your approach; try to psyche yourself up, just like you would before a sporting match or competition. See it as a challenge.

You'll be amazed at how this simple concept can transform your sense of inferiority into a feeling of equality. You'll also be pleasantly surprised at the more positive way people respond to you, even the more senior people, perhaps even the top dogs!



In another situation I've experienced, the inferiority issue was ugliness. I was coaching a person who thought she was ugly. Over the years, more and more, she'd managed to convince herself that she was ugly. Because she was so set in her mind regarding her self-perception, she then made the assumption that peoples' behaviour towards her always suggested that they thought she was ugly (when in fact they weren't thinking anything of the kind).

The ridiculous thing was that to me, she seemed very attractive! I had to be careful how I told her this though!

Good Luck!
Have a good week.
Mike