Stop Coasting!

Stop coasting!
 If you follow my blog, you'll know that I'm sharing some thoughts at the moment on breaking habits - habits that can really hold you back. Habit #2 is Stop Coasting ....

Be honest with yourself - could you achieve more if you were more organsied and had a bit more self-discipline? .... probably! Trouble is most people admit this but don't know how to address it.

So, if you're a 'coaster', my suggestion is that you take stock - you only live once.

This should help -

Approach the next 12 months differently. Really think about how you’re going to make the most of the time. There’s one sure fact – if you don’t use it, you’ll lose it. Like money, you don’t get time back when it’s spent.

Sit down over the next couple of days and think about what you want to achieve next year. Set yourself some clear personal objectives. Combine work and personal life. Challenge yourself to write down things you've been meaning to do for a while. WRITE them down, don't ruminate over them. Once you’ve done that, work out a plan. This should be a personal plan for you, not for others. That’s not selfish, that’s clever. Your plan should set out the things you actually need to do to achieve your objectives.

Of course, other people might be involved, but it's your plan, not theirs. Approach your plan incrementally and don't try to achieve too much at once. Challenge yourself but be realistic with your deadlines. Work out what you need to do month by month, then week by week and even day by day to succeed.

You’ll need self-discipline and you’ll need to bottle your gremlin for this. Your gremlin is out to get you – he’s no good. He wants the worst for you. He loves ill-discipline and laziness. He'll do his best to hold you back, just like he used to. (I have my gremlin but I'm glad to say he's looking very bruised).

Try this and, day by day, you’ll find a better balance to your life. You’ll feel more positive, more confident and more satisfied.

Give it your best shot.

Achieve more ....

Mike

Healthy work-life balance

Boost your confidence and self-esteem by having a healthy work-life balance

You'll struggle to stay positive if you don't feel in control and satisfied with your life.

A lot of people who lack self-confidence and self-esteem feel it's selfish to think of themselves. This is just not true; confident people realise that balancing your own wants, needs and aspirations with your responsibility to others is vital.

Even if, on the face of it, you feel satisfied with the balance in your life - try this exercise. Be realistic though - for example; don't kid yourself that you aren't happy because you spend more time at work than you do on holiday!

It's important that you open your mind and think creatively, particularly when you're thinking about yourself and the things you would like to do or achieve. Ask yourself if the balance in your life is right. Try thinking about how much time you spend at work and then consider the other aspects of your life that are or should be important to you. 

This is a personal and private exercise and only you will know what's important to you. It might help to think in terms of -

• Your responsibility to others (work, family etc.)
• Your responsibility to yourself (work, enjoyment, health, hobbies etc.)

Does staying healthy and keeping fit help?

If you're out of shape, there's more chance you'll feel insecure and unattractive. By keeping in reasonable shape, you'll improve your physical appearance and feel more energetic. Of course, this doesn't happen on its own. You'll need to make the effort to achieve it. It's true that there is a direct link between your physical state and your mental state. The healthier you are, the easier it is to maintain a positive mental attitude.

Consider this on two levels -

- Your general health
- Your physical fitness

General health - With the exception of illnesses over which you have no control, everyone should be able to stay healthy. If you're sensible with your diet and keep it balanced, if you ensure your body isn't physically stressed, if you get enough sleep and you get exercise, then you should be able to stay in good general health. If one of these key requirements is missing due to your lifestyle, you should think about making a change - you'll struggle to stay positive otherwise.

It's also important to keep physically fit. Don't worry though, you don't have to be super-fit - you just need to keep your body in trim. This is harder for some people than others due to physique and dietary considerations. BUT - everyone can do it. It just takes self-discipline. You need to find a realistic level of fitness that suits you.

This is worth trying if you haven't tried it already. Of course, 'physical fitness' means different things to different people. Don't worry about other people - don't try to match others unless you feel it would help. Manage your expectations here and do what you feel comfortable with. For one person this could mean walking twenty minutes a day, for another it could mean running for twenty minutes a day.

There are all sorts of fitness regimes you could consider - too many to list here. Do some research on the internet and pick one that suits you. You might also consider joining a gym, perhaps even joining a club. It doesn't have to be a running club it could be any type of sport or perhaps a walking club. Start off slowly and work up, don't challenge yourself too much at the beginning.

Good Luck!

Mike

The 'Eyes' have it ...

How do you feel when someone doesn’t look you in the eye?

 

It’s amazing what people read into poor eye contact. Peoples’ perceptions may differ but they all have one thing in common – they’re all negative, they’re all bad.

Here are some of the comments I get on my confidence building courses – they tell you what people think about people with poor eye contact ….

“They don’t believe in what they say”

“They don’t know what they’re talking about”

“They look shifty and untrustworthy”

“They aren’t interested in the audience”

“They look nervous”

“They look as though they lack self-confidence”

So, what’s your eye contact like? If you’re like most people, you’re probably not sure … so it’s worth finding out.  That’s because it really can make a big difference to the way people perceive you, both socially and at work.

The good news is that it’s not difficult to improve your eye contact – the bad news is that it takes practice and a significant amount of self-discipline. There are simple things you can do;

Have the confidence to take a moment to look the person in the eye just before you speak. You might have to force yourself to do this if you don’t feel comfortable with it – it’s a natural thing to do, there’s nothing odd about it. Looking the person in the eye sends the message that you’re not frightened and you’re in control. It’s also a great way of commanding immediate attention if you’re speaking to a group – take a moment to look around the audience and engage eye contact with some of them. Without even saying anything, you’ll send the message ‘I’m ready and I’m confident.’ They’ll see this and if there’s a hubbub of general conversation going on, they’ll soon stop. If possible, don’t start talking until there’s complete silence.

Then, try to look at people while you’re speaking. If it’s a small group, try to look at each person regularly. Try to find the balance; you shouldn’t hold your eye contact for too long because you’ll make the person feel uncomfortable. On the other hand, you do need to hold it for long enough to make ‘contact’.

I rarely meet people who are naturally good at this. The majority have to work hard at it to get it right. It’s worth it though because, once you’ve cracked it, you’ll see a huge difference in the way people respond to you.

Good eye contact tells the person or group that you’re aware, you know what you’re talking about and you care.

The key to making this work is to prepare yourself. So try to make sure that next time you’re with a person or a group in a situation that matters to you, you remind yourself just before it happens that good eye contact could well be the difference between success and failure.